Author: admin

It took most of my life to embody the truth that balance is the principal seat of personal power. I have lived a life of service and love with insufficient boundaries as, like so many women, my boundaries were all trashed in childhood. I believe that the statistics say that 8 out of 10 women have suffered sexual abuse. Some carry the memory at a conscious level and some do not. I was one of the women who did not until 2005 when I was 58. But my history has shaped my experience all through my life. And it continues to. Life is not a linear affair where one can begin to heal their life and continue in a straight line until that task has been completed. It is more like a spiral so that the piece requiring healing comes up again and again at various levels of the spiral and in various ways. When I am reading and healing I never read sexual abuse when I see it because it may not be held at a conscious level and furthermore, I just heal it instead of re-traumatizing my client by reading it again. And I heal the resultant grief… in me…… and in him/her.

I have learned a lot about sexual abuse suffered by men. But I digress. Balancing male and female energy is crucial. Learning to love myself has been crucial. Staying deep in my experience of guilt when I set a boundary but holding firm has been crucial. Currently, I have acupuncture twice every week. On one occasion the acupuncturist noted that I had had my gall bladder removed. She noted that the gall bladder serves the function of making one decisive. And inquired if I had trouble with decisions. I replied that I could always see both sides of a situation and decisions and boundaries were therefore difficult. That day my energetic gall bladder received a boost and I came home and set a boundary that I had failed to do for 5 years. And several others.

This is balance. This is balance between giving healing and receiving healing. Every healer needs a healer. The more professional the better. And there must be balance between the value derived by client and healer. The best judge of what is of value is each of us. I decide what has value to me. You decide what has value to you.

So recently a client who came for a session looked at my speed ball and laughed and asked if I was using it. When I explained that I was she suggested I blog about it. So here goes. I used to somehow believe that I was the embodiment of love. But the facts began to confront me. I was motoring around in a state of bliss loving everyone one day and I consulted a healer about my scalp psoriasis. He said to me “My dear someone is getting in your hair”. So as a way to intervene he did an energy session. For the next two days as the catharsis unfolded I spoke through gritted teeth and could barely be civil to store clerks and generally experienced my frustration and anger.
More recently I had the opportunity through a long interpretive dance experience to act it out physically. And now I know that I have at least the same amount of anger as every other person, that anger is a legitimate emotion, that anger is often not rational and when it is not it is best not to bring it into relationships, and that anger needs an outlet. Anger without an outlet will find one……either it will turn in and become depression……or it will create dis-ease in the body.

Sooooooooooo….I inquired about using the boxing equipment at the gymn but that is not the kind of workout which is encouraged for a 68 year old. So I crossed the street to Suits U and a surprised man listened carefully to what I wanted and suggested a speed ball and while he was at it he ordered one for himself. So now I do a few rounds with my speedball on a regular basis. My footwork does not match that of a 30 year old boxer but I have agility and eyehand co-ordination and lots of power so when I put the gloves on lots happens. It is a very skillful way to channel anger and to dig up anger you didn’t know you had and you end up in your personal power and with lots of clarity. I heartily recommend a speed ball to you.

Understanding synchronicity is not possible in my view….I believe those two words to be an oxymoron. So how then is it possible to write about synchronicity? I think that I have to channel this blog for it to have value. Synchronicity can be said to happen because of the alignment of the planets, or it can be said to be a response in the Universe to two or more matching energies. So are we speaking then about the Law of Attraction? In its natural operation perhaps but I think the underpinnings for the Law of Attraction are too practiced and deliberate in those who cultivate its workings in their lives, i.e., there is too much effort involved. Synchronicity is effortless. There is an older man who was very disappointed at one time that I was not interested in being in a relationship with him and later let me know that my friendship crossed his boundaries so when we encounter each other I am very respectfully contained. If he sees me coming he turns down a side street. But we encounter each other several times a week…in fact almost every day on the sidewalk or in various restaurants. I think this is true synchronicity. Does synchronicity have a purpose in the Universe? I think not. I think it is an opening in the flow of energy and it reminds me of when I am engaged as a healer and the huge flow of Divine love ignites the spark of the Divine in the person across from me and healing happens. I believe that synchronicity is an opportunity created by strong energetic resonance. When we think of someone and they instantly phone us I think that is an opening created by such a resonance. When you see the numbers for example 11:11 there is an opening being created by Universal love to reach beyond the ordinary. And sometimes I think there is a lot of Universal love happening when there is synchronicity and we cannot always understand the workings of Universal love in the same way we understand human love. For example it may not obviously feel or seem to be loving. But it heals or changes one’s direction if not thwarted. There was a time when I was very connected to synchronicity in my daily life and now I am not. I believe people can open or close the doors to synchronicity in their lives by intention.