It took most of my life to embody the truth that balance is the principal seat of personal power. I have lived a life of service and love with insufficient boundaries as, like so many women, my boundaries were all trashed in childhood. I believe that the statistics say that 8 out of 10 women have suffered sexual abuse. Some carry the memory at a conscious level and some do not. I was one of the women who did not until 2005 when I was 58. But my history has shaped my experience all through my life. And it continues to. Life is not a linear affair where one can begin to heal their life and continue in a straight line until that task has been completed. It is more like a spiral so that the piece requiring healing comes up again and again at various levels of the spiral and in various ways. When I am reading and healing I never read sexual abuse when I see it because it may not be held at a conscious level and furthermore, I just heal it instead of re-traumatizing my client by reading it again. And I heal the resultant grief… in me…… and in him/her.
I have learned a lot about sexual abuse suffered by men. But I digress. Balancing male and female energy is crucial. Learning to love myself has been crucial. Staying deep in my experience of guilt when I set a boundary but holding firm has been crucial. Currently, I have acupuncture twice every week. On one occasion the acupuncturist noted that I had had my gall bladder removed. She noted that the gall bladder serves the function of making one decisive. And inquired if I had trouble with decisions. I replied that I could always see both sides of a situation and decisions and boundaries were therefore difficult. That day my energetic gall bladder received a boost and I came home and set a boundary that I had failed to do for 5 years. And several others.
This is balance. This is balance between giving healing and receiving healing. Every healer needs a healer. The more professional the better. And there must be balance between the value derived by client and healer. The best judge of what is of value is each of us. I decide what has value to me. You decide what has value to you.
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